SELF-LOVE and why you deserve some

Thank you for reading this blog.  I am forever grateful.  As this is my way to say ‘I love you’.  Ok, Ok, I appreciate you.  I appreciate your business.  Does that sound more palatable?  Why?  Have you ever said “I love you” to yourself?  Why not?  You see with Valentine’s Day yesterday, and I made a number of references to that during our yoga classes, I noticed the energy in the room shift a little.  Especially as I referred to the fact that to receive Love and to give Love, one has to first love oneself.  If you attend my yoga classes you’re perhaps a bit more comfortable with this concept, and still, it feels a little, well, awkward.  To love yourself, isn’t that selfish?  I’d like to think it’s not.  Let’s explore this challenging topic a bit more and find out what it means.  And how you can get some.


The dictionary says it is the “regard of one’s own well-being and happiness”.

In my 25 years of being in the health & wellbeing industry, I’ve come to believe this is our biggest learning.  Our biggest life lesson.  If we come to fully accept ourselves and love ourselves, or in other words have a healthy relationship with ourselves then this will eliminate a lot of our suffering, and will initiate healing on its deepest level. When we are wholly aligned with our own unique way of being we can give and receive real love.  Then we can give love without resentment.  Then we can receive love because we know we deserve it.

How would I know?

In my first years as a massage therapist, treating celebrities from all over the world, I was often very surprised that these people, despite having fame and money, and often love, were so unhappy and unfulfilled.  In my nursing training years, the question of why illness and suffering occurs came up and followed me.  In my work now, with Hahnemann Healing, remedial treatments and the healing art and science of yoga, the question of what to do so healing can take place and suffering can be reduced comes up all the time.  It is at the core of my work.  After years of my own inner work, discussions with colleagues and the ones in the know, I firmly state the answer and biggest life lesson is: Self love and self acceptance.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere.  You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection”. Buddha

Quick fix?

No.  Self love takes commitment & dedication.  It is a journey.  Start right now & foster it daily.

Here is how.

Commit to doing all or some of the following.  Commit to acknowledging that taking care of yourself first, is not selfish, it is essential. It is taking care of others too.  Acknowledge that you are enough and whole the way you are.  Right now.

  • Appreciate your efforts. At work, at home, in public.
  • Say to yourself “I am enough”, “I have enough” “I do enough”.
  • Believe that you are enough.
  • Do more of what makes your heart sing.
  • Learn to say NO!. If it is not a hell yes, it is a no.
  • Believe and say to yourself “I am a good father, I am a good mother, I am a good friend, and I am a good spouse. Acknowledge and know that you are doing a great job.  Rather than always strive for more, better, busier.
  • Allow yourself to make a decision and then be ok with it. This one is huge.  If you decide to have that extra piece of chocolate, cake, fries etc, then be firm in your decision and support it.  No regrets.  Don’t beat yourself up after.  If you fall off the yoga bandwagon, do it with gusto, acknowledge, and come back when you are ready.  No regrets. No should haves.
  • Feel what you feel. If you have physical sensations, acknowledge and validate them.  No, I shouldn’t feel that or that.  Acknowledge and notice, it is real.  Then of course if you feel you need to investigate, shift, change, you can respond accordingly.  First, acknowledge and validate.
  • Notice what you notice. An emotion or a thought.  You ARE feeling that way, thinking that way.  Simply notice.  No judgement.  Do allow yourself that freedom of noticing and acknowledging.  If you feel sad, angry, tired, guilty, so be it. Notice.  If after that anything needs a response, well that is another story.  First – notice only. And validate.
  • Don’t hide behind the ‘lack of time’.
  • Write down your values.
  • Own your values.
  • Come to yoga class. This one allows you to practice many of those ideas.
  • Look at yourself in the mirror. Start to connect to your body.
  • Appreciate and thank your physical body. All of it.
  • Buy yourself flowers
  • Notice your food. Slowly and lovingly eat.  Fully present.  Because you love yourself.

What do I gain again?

  • A healthy relationship with ourselves allows for healthy relationships with others. Love yourself first, if you’d like to attract love from others.
  • Give love – the ability the love oneself fosters the ability to truly love another. No resentment, no deal. Unconditional love.
  • Self confidence.
  • Whole and lasting well-being and happiness.
  • A new found zest for life.
  • Less stress.
  • More freedom to do the things that are important to you.
  • Role model to those who watch you.

May you learn to fully accept and love yourself.  Have a wonderful day.