Boundaries. It will be useful to understand that boundaries are for you, not for other people.
They are for your safety, your protection, your self care, your honouring of your values, your morals, your heart, your energy and your nervous system.
They are not selfish.
They teach others how to treat you, what you are available for and what you are not available for.
They are not about telling others what to do. Or not to do.
They are a bit like emotional architecture, making sure it is clear where you finish, and someone else starts.
Strong boundaries that are delivered softly, yet assertively, allow you to keep your heart open. This is emotional intelligence.
As opposed to put up walls and harden your heart. And often become harsh in your words and energy.
I am not for a moment claiming that setting healthy boundaries is an easy task.
Let’s look at how we use and set boundaries when we come together for YOGA PRACTICE.
At the beginning of each yoga class, we have what we call a “Name-share” circle. And even though I invite you to share your name and something else, often it is a highlight of the week, something you are grateful for etc, you are encouraged to only share what you are comfortable sharing. It is your choice. Your boundary.
Boundaries continue on the mat. You are always in charge of how deeply you invest in a posture, how much physical sensation you are willing to navigate in any given yoga pose. On any given day. My teaching is merely a guidance, an invitation. You are having clear boundaries around your body and your mind. And I will always encourage you to uphold those. We are not leaning into the idea of one size fits all.
In metaphysics the setting of boundaries is associated with the Solar Plexus Chakra. So stimulating this Chakra, or Energy Centre, will help us better set healthy boundaries.
Third Chakra – Manipura – Solar Plexus Chakra
Location: Solar Plexus, Digestive System
Relates to: Personal Power, Will, Control, Confidence, Self Esteem, Vitality, Your Inner Fire, Energy, Social Identity.
Element: Fire
Colour: Yellow
Poses: Any abdominal poses such as Navasana (boat pose), any twists such as Ardha Matsyendrasana (half seated spinal twist), and any heat building poses such as Sun Salutations will help balance your Energy Chakra.
Breath: Kapalbhati, shining skull, cleansing breath technique.
From an NLP coaching perspective, I’d assist you to shift from a state of powerlessness, or victimhood, or at effect state, to a state of ownership, a state of Personal Power. Reframing.
1.Create a list of 5–10 “I AM” statements that directly counteract feelings of inadequacy:
Affirmations, an example:
I am strong and courageous.
I stand in my own personal power.
I am worthy of success.
I honour the power within me.
I trust my own guidance.
I accomplish tasks easily and effortlessly.
I feel purpose and passion for life.
The fire within me burns through all blocks and fears.
Now say these Affirmations out loud while you are placing one hand on your stomach (the seat of the Solar Plexus) to create a physical anchor.
- Shifting out from a stuck, anxious or powerless state, using “Submodalities”. This is a technique, I use a lot with clients, whether they come for treatment, counselling or coaching.
*Locate the feeling of anxiety, powerlessness, stuckness, lack of willpower, or procrastination in your body. Then identify all qualities (submodalities), size: large or small, temperature: hot cold warm etc, density: heavy or light, sound, movement, etc.
*Then intentionally change those qualities: ie, move the feeling/quality further away, make it louder, or quieter, bigger or smaller, etc. bring in as many qualities as possible.
Notice how the impact of the quality lessens.
There are plenty more techniques or strategies we can use. Please take what resonates with you.
Notice what changes simply by applying these suggestions by yourself.
Imagine what is possible if we do this together. I’m available for 1 to 1, one off sessions, either on zoom or in real life. You know how to contact me.
Please let me know how impactful that was for you, and please pass this article one to anyone who could benefit from more solid boundaries.
Happy boundary living.
See you in the studio.
Bettina